Red Baron Thick Pan Personal Pizza – Meat Trio

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Personal pan pizzas are good times. It’s a nice feeling to look down at a pie and just say to yourself, “That pizza is just for me.” There are tons on the market, from the overly-priced Schwann’s personal pizzas to the grocery store DiGiorno deep dish pizzas. Today we’re reviewing the Red Baron Thick Pan pizza, namely the Meat Trio Pizza.

First off, one of the more amusing things is the box… which is littered with photos of bros. Bros hanging out, bros knuckling down on pizza, bros partying, bros being bros. On the back (not shown) is one lady kissing a bro, but the bro doesn’t seem to be into it. I’m thinking they should have just named it Meaty-Thick Bro Pie, because that’s the audience they’re going for on the box. No chicks allowed here. But that’s Red Baron talking… not me. I believe bros and chicks should eat pizza in bliss harmony.

Anyhoo… with the exception of a couple of specialty pizzas from some local establishments here, it’s my firm belief that pizzas have goddamn meat on them. The more charred dead animals you can pile up on some cheese and sauced-up crust, the better. This is why I opted for THREE meats… because I fuck shit up old skool like that. But the Red Baron Thick Pans are pretty boss. I know it varies greatly from person to person (or Chicago and New York to the rest of the world), but I love the hell out of some deep dish and thick crust pizzas. These fill you up more, and makes it feel more like a pizza than an over-sized cracker with melted cheese. The crust is nice fluffy, and has an oven-like taste to it around the edges. These pizzas are also exclusively microwaveable, which make it great for a Pizza Power-Punch lunch at the office. For a personal pan pizza, there was a decent amount of toppings (THREE MEATS! RARRRR!) and a good amount of sauce, but I feel like there could have been more cheese. Then again, I’m the type who would eat cheese by the block if it didn’t involve destroying my digestive system.

Overall, this was a great quick lunch time pizza. But remember, Red Baron says bros only. Sorry ladies. Maybe we can get HamDog to write Red Baron one of his awesome persuasive letters to instate a Red Baron Hello Kitty personal pan pizza. Because gender equality with pizza. HamDog, please get on this and get back to us, homie.

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