Oreo Cakesters

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Oreos. Cake. Oreos plus cake. Is this the what folks at the Large Hadron Collider expect to create when smashing particles together at the speed of light? Look at that fucking box. Look at it! The cake part taunts you by saying “I’m two pieces of cake, but I have the flavor of an Oreo. You know you want me in your mouth… and I want to be in it partying”. And the filling. That’s a LOT of Oreo filling. More than a Double-Stuff Oreo. Oreo Cakester, you better fucking deliver. You’re putting a lot out there, and if you disappoint me I’m going take you out into the driveway and run over you 19 times… then I’m going to pee on your smashed remains. I hope it doesn’t come down to this, Oreo Cakester. I want to love you. And I think you want to love me back.

Well sonuvabitch. The Oreo Cakester delivers. It’s a little strange at first… tasting Oreo and not getting the brittle Oreo crunch. But it’s cake and cake don’t crunch, so I’ll allow it. It’s like a soft Oreo with more filling. And they did the smart thing by packaging them in twos, although I’d like to see these in a plastic sleeve like the OG Oreos. I don’t know what else I can say besides: It’s a fucking soft Oreo.

So, Oreo Cakester… I’m glad we had this fling. While I think I still like the regular Oreo a bit better, you didn’t let me down. We should do this again so I can get used to your softness, mainly because I’m so used to the regular Oreo being a crunchy tooth-blackening cookiegasm. Call me again sometime, k? I’m not saying I love you just yet… but I can see our relationship going to the next level.

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