Nutella & Go

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Nutella is great. You can’t go wrong with the phrase “hazelnut chocolate spread”… and if you think differently, then your opinion is wrong and you need your knuckles caned. It’s like the chocolate version of peanut butter (consistency-wise). Although if they ever make peanut butter and chocolate Nutella swirl spread, the sun will split in half and open the gate to a dimension where chocolate and peanut butter are interchangeable like electricity and magnetism. Also in this dimension, chocolate and peanutbutter are the basic building blocks of everything ever known… like carbon. It would be a fuckin’ magical place. A pure chocolate-peanut butter utopia.

But anyhoo… what we have here today is Nutella & Go: a snack-pack way to enjoy your Nutella. Half of the container is little breadsticks, the other half is Nutella. One thing is slightly deceiving though… and I request that you look at the picture. If you’re like me you thought “Oh super fuck yeah! That’s a deep-ass container of Nutella, and ratio-wise not many breadsticks. I’m gonna have to pile up the Nutella on each breadstick so that no chocolate spread goes to waste, which means it’ll just be like eating spoonfuls of Nutella! Weeeeeee!” NOT THE CASE. That right side container of Nutella is only half the depth of the package. Balls. Apparently they didn’t take Snort Ramen Olympiads into consideration when making these things. In fact, the chocolate side should be extended downward another 15″ and full to the brim with chocolate. Either way, it’s a fun and convenient way to eat the awesomeness known as Nutella.

My own personal experience with this snack was a fun one. I had one of these things in my lunch bag for when I went to work. When I get to work every morning I put my lunch bag in the fridge, so the Nutella & Go sat in a cold spot for a bit… which made the Nutella extremely viscous. Therefore, every time I dunked my breadstick, it would break and I couldn’t get much Nutella with each bite. By the time I polished off the breadsticks, I still had half of my Nutella with a bunch of breadstick bits in it, and my fingernails had chocolate in them like a goddamn toddler who was given chocolate without supervision. But you know what? I like to see the glass as 100% full (half full of water, half full of air)… and of course you can’t let that much Nutella go to waste. This was the perfect excuse to go grab a metal spoon and eat straight Nutella. It was badass, my friends. Then my mouth and teeth fit the above toddler description. Was the mess worth it? Damn skippy it was. But if you’re going to eat a Nutella & Go, make sure the thing has sit at room temperature for a bit or else you’re just going to break all of your breadsticks and have brown fingernails (and some people may or may not raise an eyebrow at that). Then again, it may be worth it in the end. Or you can just dump out the breadsticks and squeeze the Nutella right into your mouth. All methods of consumption are okay with us.

 

2 Responses to “Nutella & Go”

  1. Velvetelvitron

    Don’t you hate it when you go to plunge your cookie-stick into some warm, yielding chocolate goo, and the mickeyfickey just grabs on and snaps you off at the hilt? DENIED!

    Reply
  2. Justin

    I am positive that I have seen Nutella, or something similar to Nutella, and peanut-butter swirl for sale in Europe.

    Reply

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