Morel Madness

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MorilleSup Ramen readers! Today’s post isn’t actually junk food, but it’s one of the greatest foods around for many good reasons. For those of you who live in the Midwest and Northeast region of ‘Merica… you’re probably familiar with almighty morel mushroom. For those in areas where morels don’t grow, I must tell you that people around here lose their shit over them. It’s one of those situations where when you’ve found a bunch of morels you’re all “Shit yeah! It ain’t Tony Danza that’s the boss. It’s meeeeeee!”, but your friends that don’t have any mushrooms will say “Fuck you, you fucking prick.” behind your back. Morels are fascinating, and in this post I’ll explain why.

Morels typically start growing in mid/late April after the first time the soil has been warmed up to around 50F – 60F degrees for about a week. They usually grow around dead or decaying trees and damp areas, but can pop up in the damndest places too. And they’re goddamn edible and absolutely delicious. Gotta be careful though because a “false morel” exists that will kill you dead… so get your shit checked out by someone who knows what the fuck is going on before you feast. But the real deal morels are a “meatier” mushroom and hunting for them is half the fun.

morelsIf you follow us on the Instagram machine (username: snortramen), you’ve probably seen the picture to the right. This is a fat sack of dank I got from a buddy last night. Pretty gnarly, huh? And that was just a gift! I’m hopefully going on a hunt to a sick honey hole this weekend… meaning I will more than likely be obtaining MORE. Rock the fuck on, my friends! Oh the things you can do with morels… the possibilities. So tasty. So fun to hunt.

So how do we eat morels? First off, you’ve got to cut these badboys in half length-wise and let them sit in some salt water for several hours.  As gross as it is, you gotta do this to kill any bugs that may have decided to take residence in the pits of the cap. It’s just like washing any other vegetable, gotta make sure you don’t eat Earthly oogies. Give ‘em a good rinse afterwards and add them to anything that calls for mushrooms! A favorite among our crowd is deep frying them, but lots of people will just saute them in butter and a little garlic. Or you can get all fancypants like a friend did and make morel and dandelion quiche:

In the dictionary under "cat's pajamas", you'll find this image.

In the dictionary under “cat’s pajamas”, you’ll find this image of dandelion morel quiche.

You can also make morel burgers, put them in with pasta dishes, they go great with fish, you can grill them, put them on pizza, make sauces, and all sorts of other things. You have no idea how pumped I am to see what Mrs. PotC will make with this first batch… and I’ll certainly report the awesomeness that I will be experiencing.

So yeah… if you’ve never had morel mushrooms and you happen to be traveling near the woods in the Midwest in late April (when the dandelions are tall and spindly)… stop what you’re doing and go dick around in the woods for a few hours and hunt some goddamn morels. They can be a bitch to find sometimes, but when you find them you feel like a gladiator. Plus it’s pretty gnarly finding and eating wild food.


…times 19.

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