Little Debbie makes some primo snacks. Just about everything they make is pure forbidden sorcery. When you eat a Little Debbie snack, you feel the magic go through your veins… making you an unstoppable force of jiu jitsu chokes and hadoukens. Today we will look at the almighty Nutty Bar and how it is the key to unlocking the Universe.
First off, peanut butter and chocolate. This is one of the greatest combos that ever existed. There aren’t many things out there better than peanut butter and chocolate… besides maybe riding a wooly mammoth pulling 100 pound bails of reefer while jamming Slayer. While it’s totally not unacceptable to just eat chocolate and peanut butter from a giant wooden spoon, it’s nice to have some texture in there. Something that gives it crunch, but isn’t too crunchy. Little Debbie decided to rock the wafer, and it’s simply perfect. You get your crunch and there’s a perfect ratio of peanut butter and chocolate. And they come in twos! They knew that packing these things one at a time was stupid. Maybe when humans evolve more they’ll packed them in fours or eights. The flavor and texture is just all around awesome.
We salute the living fuck out of you, Nutty Bars. We’re not afraid to eat you in layers and lick the peanut butter off of you like a horse licks its salt lick. When the octopus/dolphin wars happen, I’m stocking up on you because you’ll be worth your weight in gold. Long live the Nutty Bar.