Kettle Brand Jalapeno Chips

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Jalapeno is one of the best flavors known to man. Why you ask? Because it makes you EXPERIENCE your food. A long time ago I saw some dude perform solo at a pizza joint and he told us crowd folk “This next song is called ‘Hot Sauce Goddamn’. I wrote this song because I love spicy food. It makes you LIVE what you’re eating. You FEEL your food. You REMEMBER your food. You EXPERIENCE your food.” And fucknabbit he was right. Although his song sucked and was just 40 seconds of him yelling “Hot Sauce Goddamn” over an overly distorted Crate amp… he had a point, and I have adopted this mentality about spicy food.

The Kettle brand Jalapeno chips are exactly that. You eat these badboys and become one with the jalapeno. No… the jalapeno becomes YOU. Now these aren’t the spiciest chips known to man, but they sure do give your tongue a hell of a hurricanrana. Downing an entire bag will make slight nose running and fire burps ensue. But the great thing about these chips is that they’re nice and thick with crunch to boot. Thick chips means MOAR FOOD. For jalapeno flavored chips, I think these have to be my favorite. They’re so good we like to crunch them up finely, heat them in a spoon with baking soda, and cheech on some jalapeno rocks until the sun comes up. EXPERIENCE your goddamn food and eat these things.

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