Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda

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Yeah, it’s been a few days since I reviewed anything. I had a winning combo of a nasty head cold, topped off with the joys of getting a small fiber of beef lodged way up in my gums too far for floss to reach which caused a nice gum infection that’s still fucking with me. High fives for no dental insurance… something you’d surely think us folks at Snort Ramen would have with all the shit we put into our mouths.

Over the weekend I decided to go on a stroll downtown with the wife and kid to get some fresh air… seeing I had been breathing snot-air and gargling peroxide for nearly a week. During our stroll we stopped into the co-op to get a treat, because goddammit I hadn’t had my junkfood fix for days and I was starting to get the shakes (and trust me, it’s frowned upon pushing a toddler around and getting the shakes in public). I had some change on me and opted for a Dr. Brown’s soda I had never had, because at a co-op $.90 doesn’t get you very far. It was either soda or a leaf of kale… and I think you know which is the wiser choice.

Despite the fact I was sick as a dog and lost 33% of my tasting ability, this soda was really good! It tasted a little bit like Dr Pepper, one of my all time favorite beverages. It wasn’t too sweet, and had a nice syrup to carbonated water ratio. Other cherry sodas usually taste like fizzy ass-water laced with DayQuil, but not this. Dr. Brown’s got this cherry shit right. I’ll certainly have to make another run down to the co-op when the cold has completely passed and do an editorial to this review.

“PlanetOfTheCrepes, you’re a damned moron for drinking soda while you’re sick and have gum issues. You know that’s just going to make it worse?” Well listen here, Professor Smartyasspants, I wasn’t born yesterday. I know how to hang with my sweet and salty snacks. Despite the fact that I’m a hardcore motherfucker, a master of the arts, and know how to make Dorito hash and roll Funyun blounts, I know my limits. But I’ll tell you what… Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry soda was just what I needed to get my mind back into Godzilla mode. In fact, I think it jump started my immune system back to recovery. Maybe that’s why it’s made by DOCTOR Brown. Hmmm….

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