So as my partner-in-crime HamDog explained earlier today, there’s two new flavors of Doritos available at your local Kroger to try FREE between 3pm – 8pm. That’s right, FREE… the one ingredient that makes every food better. After perusing online for the participating Kroger’s in my area, it didn’t show that the Kroger down the road was participating in the sampling, so I hopped over to the next Kroger and got the Smoky Chipotle BBQ bag. I passed the “close Kroger” on the way back to my workstation and thought I’d pop in and see if they just might happen to be participating. Lo and behold, there they were… so today I cheated the system (no shame obviously) and grabbed the Enchilada Supreme bag as well.
Let’s start with the Smoky Chipotle BBQ. I was not at all impressed with the amount of BBQ flavor in these things. It’s like if you loaded up a weasel with BBQ powder and had it sneeze on a tortilla chip. I’ve had thin little Lay’s BBQ chips that tasted more like BBQ. There was also nothing “smoky” about these things. But I will say that they delivered in the chipotle department and had a nice spiciness them. They also turn your fingers and the corners of your mouth blood red… like you just murdered a hamsters and ate it. Really, they can leave off the BBQ part, and Doritos should adopt my new name of “Chipotle Thunder”. You’re welcome, Doritos.
Next the Enchilada Supreme chips. These were pretty good at first. They had a nice blend of cheese and… well, Mexican food. I think it was just bell pepper flavoring on top of a Nacho Cheese Dorito… or some kind of pepper. Maybe I’m tasting table leftovers collected from various hole-in-the-wall taco joints. But it’s like Doritos had a bunch of left over nacho cheese dust, and had then they had some random dude at a Mexican restaurant who hadn’t washed his hands, then cut up a pepper and throw it in… then just applied too much of this shit on a plain tortilla chip. But after 3 chips, these things just tasted like slightly spicy Nacho Cheese Doritos. While these things weren’t bad, they don’t get any originality points. Again, these things covered my fingers and mouth with chip dust and made for a very messy snacking. I’m pretty sure my keyboard now contains some of this dust even after washing my hands.
So overall, you’re best off sticking to the OG Doritos (Nacho and Ranch). The one thing I did like about these chips is that they seemed to be thicker than usual. But they’re really messy and don’t deliver in the unique-flavor department. Now if they’d just bring back the goddamned Salsa Rio Doritos, we’d all be in good shape.