Barcel Takis – Fuego

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barcel takis fuegoI went on a short road trip recently and made a quick pit stop for gas while my wife went into the corner store to grab snacks.  She comes out with a bag of Takis, and claimed that her students love these things.  I’ve lived in Houston Texas my whole life, and I’ve always been a fan of Tex-Mex and spicy food, so of course I was very interested in this snack that appeared to be corn chips engulfed in flames.  Now Takis come in a variety of tex-mex style flavors such as beef fajita, guacamole, salsa verde and more. We had a bag of the Fuego kind (that’s “Fire” for you super white folk), and they do not use that term loosely.  As soon as I opened the bag my car filled up with tear gas and I started crying like a little girl while the firey lime goodness crept into my blood stream.  This things really pack a punch and could probably be used as punishment for shoplifting in some countries. The snack can best be described as regular corn chip (like a Dorito) rolled up into a little tube, then douched with seasoning, A LOT of fucking seasoning.  You thought Cheeto’s were a bad mess?  If your hand enters that bag of fuego hell it will come out red like the spawn of Satan and contaminate everything you touch, which means you should absolutely wash your hands before taking a piss.  Lime and fire, an excellent recipe for a delicious snack that I continue to eat despite the pain (what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger), and what’s really fucked up is that while I was writing this review I discovered there is a Nitro flavor.  That means someone tasted the fuego flavor and decided that it wasn’t enough.  I imagine if I had the Nitro flavor I would have to be quarantined about 3 hours before and after snacking.  This snack is over the top, but sometimes junk food needs to be excessive and also dangerous.  We have a lot to thank the Mexicans for in the food department, that’s for sure.  All in all 3.5 out of 5.


4 Responses to “Barcel Takis – Fuego”

  1. Fitzy

    shortly after reading this review, my folks while on a road trip through the lower 48 sent me an email telling me of a new snack they had just recently tried. Lo and behold none other than the “Fuego” I laughed and envisioned them subjecting themselves to the suffering so aptly described in the review. They went on to tell me how mouths still on fire, tongue unable to taste ‘normal’ food, were trying to figure a way to remove contacts from my dads eyes with hands still stained a comical red and very much contaminated with eye melting tastiness. Two weeks later I still find myself laughing when I see them and think of that night. They brought a bag home for me (to the land of the munchy deprived and malnourished north..yes CAN) and after trying them was sad to discover they IMO were not a tasty chip..hot yes, but one dimensional in lime flavor. I much rather prefer the recently new to my stash Blair’s Death rain chips. Available in a wide array of flavors all sure to melt tastebuds, my favorite Buffalo wing.

    Reply
  2. PlanetOfTheCrepes

    Blair’s chips you say? Fuckin’ fascinating! We most certainly need to get our grubby mitts on some of these. Thanks for the comment!

    Reply
  3. Tyler

    I ate a ton of the sons of bitches. They melted the side of my
    Fucking tongue off, I shit you not.

    Reply
  4. Nina

    Me personaly I don’t like Takis but the kids go craaaaaaaazzzzy over them things!!!…

    Reply

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