Posts By: Hamdog

cracker jackd snack mix spicy pizzeria

Cracker Jack’D Intense Mix – Spicy Pizzeria

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We were somewhere along the interstate when the drugs began to take hold.  Myself along with my attorney and captain, Planet of the Crepes, were busy fighting off the blood sucking bats that kept swooping down over the convertible.  We were trying our best to balance keeping the bats at bay along with driving on [...]


Stoner Concoction: Fried Shit

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Well, not fried SHIT, but you know, fried stuff.  By shit I mean, junk food. Find some shit, fry it, dump some powdered sugar on it, and eat the fuck out of it. It’s Rodeo time here in Houston, Texas.  We here at Snort Ramen are native Texans, so when we hear the words “Rodeo [...]

cinnamon toast crunch

The After-Cereal Milk

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There are certain kinds of cereal that end up creating delicious milk to drink after you’ve eaten all the cereal.  Don’t act like you don’t drink the fucking milk out of the bowl. These cereals are the kind you want to purposely pour way too much milk in (the truth is, i’ve never minded soggy [...]

cookies and creme twix

RetroFeast: Cookies-n-Creme Twix

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We all know and love our Twix candy bars.  They’re a mouthful of soft chewy delicious caramel chocolatey goodness, you can’t get much better than that, right?  Well if you remember the early 90′s, you’ll remember that Twix actually launched a campaign of different flavors to experiment with.  Aside from the original Caramel flavor, the [...]

fuck yeah

Thank You, Four Loko!

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Back in August I sent Four Loko’s corporate office a letter expressing my gratitude and also suggesting they explore the idea of a Bacon flavor Four Loko.  Of course I was only half way serious, I just wanted some site content and to see what would happen.  Well one of the partners of Phusion Projects [...]

bacon four loko

My Campaign for Bacon Four Loko

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I’d like to ask all our readers to join me in the fight to bring bacon flavored Four Loko to the world. August 24, 2012 Drink Four Brewing Co. 1658 N Milwaukee Ave. Suite 424 Chicago, Illinois 60647 To Whom it May Concern,     Greetings!  I just want to say thank you for making such [...]

the fat darrell

Stoner Concoction: The Fat Darrell

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Originating at Rutgers University, a poor college student couldn’t afford everything he was craving, so he came up with a genius idea to put all the side items he wanted on a roll, hoping to just get charged for a sandwich.  He had them put chicken tenders, french fries, fried mozzarella cheese sticks, and marinara [...]

zapps spicy cajun crawtators

Zapp’s Spicy Cajun Crawtators

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It is with great pleasure that I share with you today one of my favorite snacks of all time.  I present you with Zapp’s Spicy Cajun Crawtators, the single best potato chip snack on the market.  If you’re unfamiliar with Zapp’s, they are a Louisiana company that started marketing their products with their Cajun heritage.  [...]

Snort Ramen y u no post

Quick Update from the Hamdog

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What’s up Ramen readers?  It’s been a hot minute since you’ve heard from the squad.  Don’t be alarmed, we’re not going anywhere.  Sometimes life gets in the way of delicious junk food.  I’ve been busy growing my hair out, and I believe Mrs.PlanetOfTheCrepe’s is about to give birth to a piggy in a blanket any [...]

snickers peanut butter

Snickers Peanut Butter

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Holy fucking fuck fuck.  Look no further.  This is the candy bar of the junk food Gods.  This is what The Bacon-Egg Cthulhu seeks.  Snickers was already an All-Star candy bar to begin with, but deciding to add peanut butter just brought a new King to the throne.  Chocolate and peanut butter together can do [...]

Buc-ee's beaver nuggets

Buc-ee’s Beaver Nuggets

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One of the most miserable and terrible times in you might have to experience in your lifetime is driving hundreds of miles across the state of Texas.  I-10, the unforgiving interstate that stretches across the US, is pretty awful overall.  But specifically starting at the Texas/Louisiana border stretching all the way to the other side [...]

BBQ Picante Takis Meme

Takis – BBQ Picante

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It was a miracle I made it to work today without running out of gas.  Why?  Because I’m an idiot and I left my wallet at the office last night.  So when the gas light pops on and you’re 20 miles from work, and going 5mph because some idiot decided to flip a metro bus [...]

Mana EnergyPotion

Mana Energy Potion

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PlanetOfTheCrepes and I were deep within the Western Plaguelands when we came upon a camp infested by the scourge.  We glance at each other knowing the risk we’ll be taking once we set foot into this diseased territory.  But we communicate telepathically,”Let’s fucking do this”, and we both agree and nod without saying a word. [...]

Tim's Cascade Style Jalapeno Potato Chips

Tim’s Cascade Style Jalapeno Chips

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I took a last minute trip to Portland Oregon last week to hang with friends and see the sites.  I had been to Portland before on business but never really got a chance to see the amazing outdoors and awesome food this place had to offer.  Lots of great restaurants and food carts all over [...]

sippin syrup purple

Sippin Syrup – Purple

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Purple drank, syrup, lean, oil, Texas Tea, or whatever you want to call it, it’s the special recipe that sedates the south side of Houston, TX.  A screwed up concoction that shaped the culture of southern hip-hop and eventually began to take over.  So much, that anti energy drinks began popping up everywhere that blatantly [...]

sun drop

Sun Drop

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Sun Drop, a true ray of sunshine brought to you buy the Beverage Gods that are the Dr.Pepper Snapple group.  For those of you who don’t know, this product is the new Walter White in the citrus soda game, which means it’s up against the king pins Mountain Dew and Mello Yello.  All 3 are [...]

cheetos salsa con queso

Cheetos Salsa con Queso

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I see you, Cheeto bag.  You don’t have to swing your dick in my face every time I walk in this fucking store.  I haven’t been avoiding you because I don’t like you, Cheeto bag.  I’ve been avoiding you because, well, I was just trying to space out all the Tex-Mex snacks, you know how [...]

sun chips garden salsa

Sun Chips – Garden Salsa

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Ramen Snorters, time for a simple rehash of a tested and true stonerrific snack.  The garden salsa Sun Chips, if you don’t already know, is truly a force to be reckoned with.  I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that everyone likes Sun Chips, but no one will claim Sun Chips as their favorite [...]

m&m's pretzel

M&M’s Pretzel

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I walked into the corner store and looked around for a bit for something to review.  Everything I thought about getting was a Doritos snack and/or Mexican snack, which we’ve been doing too much of lately.  So I began to panic.  “Fuck, I wanted to try those Tapatio Doritos so bad, but what will the [...]

Food Stories Nominee for Excellence in Story Telling!

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Snort Ramen has been nominated for Food Stories Excellence in Story Telling!  We are very grateful considering we’ve only been in existence for almost a month.  We hope this is a sign of good things to come! Here’s how it works: 1. The nominee should visit the award site ( and leave a comment indicating [...]