One of the world’s most amazing candy bars is the Twix bar. The combination of cookie, caramel, and chocolate… it just reeks of win. It does more than reek of win, it’s crafted entirely of win and wizardry. Twix have stood the test of time and destroy just about any other candy bar that comes around. And now quantum physics is being turned upside down with the almighty Twix Ice Cream Bar.
In the ice cream world, we have another winning combo that exists… and that’s vanilla ice cream with a chocolate shell. So simple, yet so delicious. Klondike Bars and regular ol’ chocolate-covered-vanilla-ice-cream-bars-on-a-stick are prime examples of this. While the basic vanilla ice cream and chocolate shell combo already gets an A+ in the Oh Fuck Yes Department, adding to this rarely ever fails. We’ve seen crisped rice, nuts, caramel, and all sorts of other sweets added in, and it never falls shorts of reaching tonguegasm.
But just when you think you’ve peaked with either a Twix or vanilla ice cream in a chocolate shell, you ain’t seen nothing until you’ve motherfucking combined the two. Holy balls, it’s AMAZING! The Twix Ice Cream Bars are like an elongated Klondike Bar with the elements of a Twix strategically crammed along the top of the bar. Now we know that Twix ice cream exists, but the Klondikiness and Twixiness (yes, those are scientific terms) are more defined and pronounced… meaning you can really distinguish the best of both worlds as opposed to a mish-mash of Twix and ice cream. Not saying Twix ice cream is wrong… fuck no, it’s not wrong! But the Twix Ice Cream bar has certainly won a gold medal in the sweet snacks department.
On a side note… what the fuck is up with this new Twix marketing? There’s this whole dumbass left Twix/right Twix battle that Mars Inc. is trying to portray (refer to www.twix.com). Apparently, in a wrapper containing to identical Twix, Left Twix is unmistakably cookie, caramel, and chocolate… while Right Twix is distinctively caramel, chocolate, and cookie. AND THEY ARGUE ABOUT IT. Twix, I love you, but this is the most dumbass marketing ploy I think I’ve ever seen. It’s like saying I kick ass at guitar, can eat a barrel of Cheezballs in one sitting, and like Megadeth… but HamDog sucks because he can eat a barrel of Cheezballs in one sitting, likes Megadeth, and kicks ass at guitar. It’s like yelling at yourself in the mirror, and people get institutionalized for that kind of thing. Just drop this phony horseshit, Twix. Just continue tasting awesome and quit trying seems like a holier than thou badass with yourself. You’re better than this. Don’t make me have this discussion with you again.