Posts Tagged: sweet snacks

carrito de elotes

Vero/Carrito De Elotes

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The fair is in town in my neck of the woods. That means I get to cut loose on all sorts of new and strange fair food that could easily kill me if consumed in large quantities. One of the things we got was a couple of candy grab bags for the kids. Inside one [...]


Retro-Feast: Keebler Magic Middles

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Ah yes… Magic Middles. Remember how in the commercials everyone just couldn’t fucking believe how the Keebler elves got the chocolate in the middle? Those were the good ol’ days. For those of you who were born too late, Magic Middles were  soft cookies with creamy fudge in the middle. It was like a chocolate [...]

nutella and go

Nutella & Go

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Nutella is great. You can’t go wrong with the phrase “hazelnut chocolate spread”… and if you think differently, then your opinion is wrong and you need your knuckles caned. It’s like the chocolate version of peanut butter (consistency-wise). Although if they ever make peanut butter and chocolate Nutella swirl spread, the sun will split in half [...]

mr goodbar

Mr Goodbar

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That’s right. Mr. Goodbar. I’ll be honest, the name and the packaging for this candy bar have never captivated me. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve even had a Mr. Goodbar… and when I’d see these things at the convenient store I’d scoff at them. “Pffft!” I’d say to the Mr. Goodbars while [...]

mike and ike

Mike & Ike

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Mike & Ike is a special type of candy. You can get it in large boxes or by the handful from germ ridden vending machines for dirt cheap. It’s the kind of stuff that gives you a quick Dollar Tree-style sugar fix and makes your molars and the spaces between your teeth feel like absolute [...]


Milky Way Simply Caramel

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Whooooooooooboy! This sonuvabitch is riiiiiiiiiiich! This candy bar was brought to our attention by our junkfood partner-in-crime Tanya over at Gas Station Gastronomy, and her review can be read here. Based on the picture posted, it appeared to just be a big block of caramel that is coated in chocolate. I love caramel, I love [...]


Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs

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One of the nice things about working an office job is that people will put out food and treats that they can’t/don’t want to eat for other people to take. The motherload usually comes right after Halloween or Easter… and you can’t take 2 steps without someone throwing candy at you. I’m guessing that my [...]



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Pocky is a simple, yet great sweet snack. All it is is a chocolate coated biscuit stick. Pretty basic and boring sounding, eh? Well, it certainly sounds like it is, but there’s something strange about Pocky that makes it awesome. Personally, I scoff at light snacking… it’s either stuff the shit out of your face [...]

oreo cakesters

Oreo Cakesters

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Oreos. Cake. Oreos plus cake. Is this the what folks at the Large Hadron Collider expect to create when smashing particles together at the speed of light? Look at that fucking box. Look at it! The cake part taunts you by saying “I’m two pieces of cake, but I have the flavor of an Oreo. [...]

snickers peanut butter

Snickers Peanut Butter

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Holy fucking fuck fuck.  Look no further.  This is the candy bar of the junk food Gods.  This is what The Bacon-Egg Cthulhu seeks.  Snickers was already an All-Star candy bar to begin with, but deciding to add peanut butter just brought a new King to the throne.  Chocolate and peanut butter together can do [...]

Buc-ee's beaver nuggets

Buc-ee’s Beaver Nuggets

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One of the most miserable and terrible times in you might have to experience in your lifetime is driving hundreds of miles across the state of Texas.  I-10, the unforgiving interstate that stretches across the US, is pretty awful overall.  But specifically starting at the Texas/Louisiana border stretching all the way to the other side [...]


Arizona Half Pink Lemonade Half Sweet Iced Tea

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Arizona teas are aces. You can get a super-tall boy of these things for only $.99… unless your local ethnic health food store decides to be a bunch of ass-hats and charge $1.19, despite the fact that $.99 is printed on the fucking can! And yes, that happens where I live. Anyhoo, I was out [...]


RetroFeast: Otter Pops

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When you were little, summer time was the jam. There was no school, and you got to run around in the back yard like a retarded hummingbird with a Thundercat figure in one hand and a summer snack in the other. But man, summer was fucking hot. When I was a kid in the 80s, [...]

blue sky dr becker

Blue Sky Dr. Becker

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During the day, I work your average office job. It’s far from my life’s dream where I work, but it pays the bills and we get lots of perks. One of the better perks is that we have a fridge stocked full of soda to keep us carbonated beverage fiends at bay. But since one [...]

nutty bars

Little Debbie Nutty Bars

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Little Debbie makes some primo snacks. Just about everything they make is pure forbidden sorcery. When you eat a Little Debbie snack, you feel the magic go through your veins… making you an unstoppable force of jiu jitsu chokes and hadoukens. Today we will look at the almighty Nutty Bar and how it is the [...]


Fruit Gushers

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If your prime was in the 80s, chances are that lunch time was the most exciting part of the day. That’s because we had all sorts of cool shit that was tasty, conveniently packaged, and terrible for you at the same time. Your mom would wake up in the mornings… simply drained from your hyper-ass [...]

frozen coke

Frozen Coca-Cola

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Welcome to summer time. You may think summer “technically” starts in 2 weeks, but it’s already began folks. If you find yourself cruising in your air-conditionless car/truck with your elbow out the window, back drenched with sweat, and jamming Fu Manchu’s King of the Road… it’s fucking summer. C’mon people, use your brains… this is [...]


Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda

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Yeah, it’s been a few days since I reviewed anything. I had a winning combo of a nasty head cold, topped off with the joys of getting a small fiber of beef lodged way up in my gums too far for floss to reach which caused a nice gum infection that’s still fucking with me. [...]

kasuagi gummies

Kasuagi Fruit Gummies

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So if you haven’t guessed by now, Hamdog has the answer to all of your Tex-Mex snack needs while I (PlanetOfTheCrepes) can give you the low down on a vast array of Asian snacks. That’s what you get with one SnortRamen dude in a Top 10 college town in the Midwest, and the other being [...]


Guest Review: Skeletor Reviews Hostess CupCakes

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Hostess CupCakes Review by Skeletor  People of Eternia! I stand before the galaxy and The Chosen Realm of SnortRamen… chosen by destiny and by the powers of Grayskull to review sweet snacks for their website of Ultimate JunkFood Power! This inevitable moment will transpire before your eyes, even as He-Man himself bears witness to it. [...]

coke sprite

Stoner Concoction: Ghetto Ginger Ale

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HamDog and I were sitting around riding the dragon towards the crimson eye and playing Ninja Gaiden while blasting Megadeth… and he turns to me and says “Hey PlanetOfTheCrepes, you heard about ghetto ginger ale?” “No, But I’ll tell you what… these dumbass swooping hawks are really pissing me off.” I said. “Yeah, those things [...]

little debbie oatmeal creme pies

Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies

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In the beginning there was nothing… then there were Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies. I don’t know of a single person who doesn’t thoroughly enjoy these things. Those who don’t deserves a swirly in a toilet that’s been upper-decked (for you super white folks that don’t know what upper-decking is… go Google it real quick [...]

m&m's pretzel

M&M’s Pretzel

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I walked into the corner store and looked around for a bit for something to review.  Everything I thought about getting was a Doritos snack and/or Mexican snack, which we’ve been doing too much of lately.  So I began to panic.  “Fuck, I wanted to try those Tapatio Doritos so bad, but what will the [...]

Ralston Ghostbuster Cereal

RetroFeast: Ghostbusters Cereal

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Back in 1984, Earth was given one of the greatest things since the steam powered locomotive… and that thing was Ghostbusters. As the IMDB page says, the movie is about “three unemployed parapsychology professors who set up shop as a unique ghost removal service.” There are behemoth demon dogs, ghosts made of slime, giant marshmallow [...]


Bouratino Chersi Soda

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So I get home yesterday from my normal day of arson and fist flinging… and my awesome and bad-ass she-wife greeted me at the door with a weird looking Russian soda that she got at the European deli in town. It came in a glass bottle and the label said “Bouratino Chersi” underneath some Russian [...]