Posts Tagged: salty snacks

cracker jackd snack mix spicy pizzeria

Cracker Jack’D Intense Mix – Spicy Pizzeria

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We were somewhere along the interstate when the drugs began to take hold.  Myself along with my attorney and captain, Planet of the Crepes, were busy fighting off the blood sucking bats that kept swooping down over the convertible.  We were trying our best to balance keeping the bats at bay along with driving on [...]


Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Chips

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Stardate 72856.2. We have returned the Starship Chilifries to the Rufflonian exoplanet of the Orion-Cygnus Arm in star system M52. We were hesitant to return after our last failed mission to find awesome snacks, but The United Rufflonian Federation insisted that we come back. According to the Federation, Baconcheddarloadia was a rogue city where the losers win, [...]

private selection buffalo chips

Private Selection Spicy Wings Kettle Chips

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Let’s start with a rant: Chip makers… we need to have a talk. We vote to stop calling chips with Buffalo sauce flavoring anything with the word “wing” in it. If these were supposed to taste like wings, then I would taste some goddamn chicken. I have never tasted chicken in any type of “Buffalo [...]


Nong Shim Spicy Onion Rings

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Last weekend the fam made a trek to one of the Asian grocery stores in town. Whenever we go, it is LAW that we get some oddball snack that we’ve never had. So many things from octopus crackers to Sriracha peas… but this time around I opted for a bag of Hot & Spicy Onion [...]


J&D’s/The Oatmeal Sriracha Popcorn

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As we mentioned before, HamDog and I are true to the Sriracha Rooster Sauce and have been for quite some time. It’s awesome that The Oatmeal’s Matt Inman has taken it upon himself to tell everyone about the glory that is Sriracha chili sauce… and everyone certainly needs to know about it. This dude writes [...]

herrs ketchup potato chips

Herr’s Ketchup Potato Chips

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For years I had heard of ketchup flavored potato chips, but never tried them. I think the main reason for not trying them sooner is because I spent most of my life in the South/Mid-South… and apparently ketchup chips belong to the “Great White North Only Club”. But now that I’m in the Mid-West, I [...]

zapps spicy cajun crawtators

Zapp’s Spicy Cajun Crawtators

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It is with great pleasure that I share with you today one of my favorite snacks of all time.  I present you with Zapp’s Spicy Cajun Crawtators, the single best potato chip snack on the market.  If you’re unfamiliar with Zapp’s, they are a Louisiana company that started marketing their products with their Cajun heritage.  [...]


Rally’s Big Buford & Fries

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Rally’s is one of the greatest things in the entire world. For those that have never heard of Rally’s, you might be familiar with it’s evil twin Checkers. For those who have heard of neither, Google the closest location right now, get in your goddamn car, and go find one Harold & Kumar style. Rally’s/Checkers [...]

easy cheese

Easy Cheese

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Motherfucking cheese in a motherfucking can. It’s straight up magic. Bend a little nozzle slightly and receive cheese. No cellophane wrappers to undo, no blocks to cut up. This cheese is easy. Be forewarned, the Easy Cheese can suck you in to its event horizon and you won’t go back. At first you squirt a [...]

evol burritos

Evol Burritos – Fire Grilled Chicken Fajita

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One thing that readers might not guess about me is that try to give back to my community. That’s fucking right. When I’m not wrestling snow leopards, killing hippies, or blowing up intergalactic cities… I volunteer at a local food pantry to help low-income families get some free and relatively healthy shit to stuff into their gullets. It’s [...]


Ruffles Tapatio Limon Chips

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Our last Ruffles review left us severely disappointed. And by disappointed, I mean we got so pissed off we annihilated an entire city over it. But today, Ruffles have redeemed themselves tenfold. While we didn’t make any galactic trips to the M52 system of the Orion-Cygnus arm, the gas station down the road was able [...]

BBQ Picante Takis Meme

Takis – BBQ Picante

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It was a miracle I made it to work today without running out of gas.  Why?  Because I’m an idiot and I left my wallet at the office last night.  So when the gas light pops on and you’re 20 miles from work, and going 5mph because some idiot decided to flip a metro bus [...]

Tim's Cascade Style Jalapeno Potato Chips

Tim’s Cascade Style Jalapeno Chips

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I took a last minute trip to Portland Oregon last week to hang with friends and see the sites.  I had been to Portland before on business but never really got a chance to see the amazing outdoors and awesome food this place had to offer.  Lots of great restaurants and food carts all over [...]

ruffles loaded bacon cheddar potato chips

Ruffles Loaded Bacon & Cheddar Potato Chips

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Stardate 65931.8. We are cruising the galaxy in the Starship Chilifries on a search for potato chips with robust flavor that is unbeknownst to man. As we cruise at light speed through the Orion-Cygnus Arm of the Milky Way, we stumbled across the Rufflonian exoplanet orbiting star system M52. The planet is very geologically active with regions [...]


Amy’s Quarter Pound Veggie Burgers

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Okay… I’m going to share something with you folks today. Despite the fact that I’m a carnivorous sonuvabitch and invented the Turfucken (which is a chicken stuffed into a duck, then stuffed into a turkey, then stuffed into an ostrich, then stuffed into leopard, then stuffed into a bison, then stuffed into an elephant, and [...]

nongshim drumstix

Nong Shim – Chile Lime Kikiriki Drumsticks

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A long time ago I had this brilliant idea when I was eating fried chicken one day. See, I’m the kind that believes in the Extra Crispy, not Original Recipe chicken. I absolutely love fried chicken skin. So my bright idea was to have chicken skin singles. That’s fucking right… they’d be packaged like American [...]


Mike-Sell’s Smoky Mountain Barbecue Chips

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Until I moved north of the Mason-Dixon, I had never heard of Mike-Sell’s brand potato chips. They’re super cheap and super delicious. Mike-Sell’s makes everything from regular potato chips to the evil Cheeto twin known as the Puffcorn Delight. If you’re able to try anything by these guys… go forth and tantalize your taste buds. You won’t [...]

kettle jalapeno chips

Kettle Brand Jalapeno Chips

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Jalapeno is one of the best flavors known to man. Why you ask? Because it makes you EXPERIENCE your food. A long time ago I saw some dude perform solo at a pizza joint and he told us crowd folk “This next song is called ‘Hot Sauce Goddamn’. I wrote this song because I love [...]

cheetos salsa con queso

Cheetos Salsa con Queso

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I see you, Cheeto bag.  You don’t have to swing your dick in my face every time I walk in this fucking store.  I haven’t been avoiding you because I don’t like you, Cheeto bag.  I’ve been avoiding you because, well, I was just trying to space out all the Tex-Mex snacks, you know how [...]

sun chips garden salsa

Sun Chips – Garden Salsa

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Ramen Snorters, time for a simple rehash of a tested and true stonerrific snack.  The garden salsa Sun Chips, if you don’t already know, is truly a force to be reckoned with.  I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that everyone likes Sun Chips, but no one will claim Sun Chips as their favorite [...]

Lowreys Microwaveable Pork Rinds

Lowrey’s Microwaveable Pork Rinds

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Here’s one that I was highly skeptical about: microwaveable pork rinds. You put these things in the microwave like a bag of popcorn, and it “pops” pork rinds. It’s fucking forbidden sorcery if you ask me. But I’ve been known to play miniature golf with The Devil himself, so I decided to give them a [...]


Utz Cheese Balls

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My cheese balls come in a fucking barrel. That’s right… clocking in at just over 2 lbs, Utz presents us with what we here at SnortRamen call the Tub of Cheesy Doom. You know, I used to be a Planters kind of guy, but 1. I recently discovered they were discontinued 2. these have more of [...]


RetroFeast: Doritos Late Night All Nighter Cheeseburger

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If you’ve stumbled across this site, it’s likely that you’re the type of person that puts their fries inside their burger.  Maybe when you were a kid you put your Fritos inside your sandwich.  In 2009 when Doritos released a line of snacks under the name Late Night, you were able to reverse the roles and taste [...]

Doritos Salsa Rio

RetroFeast: Salsa Rio Doritos

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Back when Alf and Dinoriders ruled the Earth, Doritos unleashed the almighty Salsa Rio flavored tortilla chips. Now we’re not talking about the dumbass spicy nacho tomato 2012 limited edition throwback Salsa Rio chips. We’re in our pimped out DeLorean traveling back to the late 80s to experience the real deal… so pour your Colt45 [...]