So you’ve got a head cold. You feel like shit. Your nose won’t stop with the chartreuse waterfalls and you sound like the bastard child of Barry White and a velociraptor. While this won’t cure you, I hereby give you a great temporary fix: Sriracha Tomato Soup.
First you start with a bowl. Get your grinder and some saltines.
Grind that shit up and put your keef-crackers in a bowl. Set aside.
Next, warm up a can of tomato soup in a saucepan. Whatever you do, don’t be a silly bitch and add a can of water… ALWAYS add a can milk. Creamy tomato soup = tr00. Watery tomato soup = FALSE. “But dude, dairy is not recommended when you have nasal congestion.” How about you shut the fuck up and let me help you. Ungrateful fuck.
Now the medicine. Squirt like 8 shots of Sriracha in the saucepan and stir.
Allow to simmer and pour your soup over the bowl of crackers. Eat and enjoy. This will make your nose run a fuck ton more, but only temporarily… thus flushing all the oogies out for the night. It’s healthy and hotsauce goddamn which is a combo for getting your fix and helping you feel better… a winning concoction from the Snort Ramen Medical Journal for Physical and Mental Well-Being.