Pop Tarts… America’s tastiest breakfast treat that includes 66 ingredients including chemicals, food preservatives, oils and food colorings. Sure these things are loaded with TBHQ, high fructose corn syrup, and hazardous dyes… but goddammit we still love them and will eat them any chance we get. A co-worker at my place of employment gifted us computer-monkeys with two seasonal Pop Tart types for all of us to devour and enjoy. You read correctly: seasonal Pop Tarts. I’m here to tell you all about the Spookylicious and Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts.
First we have the Spookylicious Pop Tarts. Honestly there’s nothing spooky about them. They don’t contain and haunted spirits, human remains (as far as we know), or evil spiders. But they do look Halloween-y with the orange frosting and white, yellow, and black sprinkles. But does it taste like the smell of werewolves and catacombs? Nope… but it does taste like chocolatey goodness. The box touts “frosted chocolate fudge” under the Spookylicious title, and fudge is sure as hell what it tastes like. I compare these to chocolate cake. Actually… that about sums it up. It’s a chocolate cake Pop Tart. A non-spooky and rich with chocolate Pop Tart (aka the Chocolate-Fudge kind with different colors). But it was VERY tasty, and any chocolate lover would certainly love these. The frosting doesn’t really contribute to the taste much, but it’s nice to know that it’s there (because, frosting… that’s why).
Now the Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts. These were pretty good, but I honestly expected more pumpkin flavor. There’s certainly pumpkin there, and really I shouldn’t expect any fucking Pop Tart to exceed the flavor expectations. Anyhoo, these were pretty good and definitely a unique Pop Tart flavor. The filling is just pumpkin flavored goo, so I guess the frosting is what makes this “pumpkin pie”. If that’s the case, why aren’t the strawberry Pop Tarts called “Strawberry Pie”? But I have to say this is one of the better types of Pop Tarts to surface, and while I had mine cold (no toaster at the office)… they’re probably aces warm. I just wish they were more pumpkininny.
Spookylicious Pop Tarts:
Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts:
And while this is obviously fake… how fuckin’ cool would it be if these were ever made (click the image to embiggen)? Snorters, what do YOU think a HanTart would taste like? Let us know what you think!