Motherfuckin’ Chicken Wings

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chicken wings

One of the greatest things in life is chicken wings. It’s chicken in sauce. Sure you don’t get as much meat as, let’s say, a turkey leg… but they’re damn fun to eat. There’s two parts to typical wings: the drumette and the wing. The drumette is more dipping friendly, while the wing probably gets you more meat. Either way, if you eat them right (meaning clean the hell out of the bones) you get the pieces needed for the ultimate Bone Crown.

But chicken is just chicken, right? For the most part, yeah. But it’s really the SAUCE that makes chicken wings badass (that and the crispiness of the chicken skin). There are oodles and oodles of different sauces and seasonings for chicken wings. You have the more mild sauces like sweet bbq, lemon pepper, teriyaki, garlic parmesan, honey bbq, and so forth. Then you step into the world of food EXPERIENCE with medium, hot, mango habanero, atomic Jamacian jerk, volcano thunderpants, and super-porcelain shattering powerbomb sauces. This is not even the tip of the iceberg, for there are hundreds of sauces under the sun. I have never met a wing sauce I didn’t like.

For me personally, I’m a big fan of the Honey Sriracha Wings found in the Sriracha Cookbook by Randy Clemens. Although my wife tweaked the recipe and doubled the Sriracha and used bacon fat which made it muy better (sorry, Randy). When I’m feeling like a boring old fuck, I like the tried and true mild wings. These have good heat and you can eat a shit ton of wings before the hotness catches up to you.

Don’t forget your goddamn dipping sauces! It varies with the type of wing you get, but bleu cheese and ranch are definite front runners. Honey mustard is good times too. Ketchup on the other hand? Save that for when you’re blazed out of your skull and have absolutely ZERO dipping sauce options… because really, ketchup and wings? Seems like the kind of shit that would piss off ol’ Bacon Egg Cthulhu.

If you don’t like wings… then really, fuck you. I mean, there’s no nice way to excuse a person who doesn’t like wings. I wish I could be nicer, but not liking wings is cold as ice. Even if you’re vegetarian… it’s fucked up. Chicken wings or GTFO.


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