Mike & Ike

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Mike & Ike is a special type of candy. You can get it in large boxes or by the handful from germ ridden vending machines for dirt cheap. It’s the kind of stuff that gives you a quick Dollar Tree-style sugar fix and makes your molars and the spaces between your teeth feel like absolute hell. Mike & Ike are pretty much pill-capsule shaped jellybeans that tout a “fruit juice flavor”. Of course, they don’t actually taste like fruit… that’s like comparing candy corn to actual fucking corn. Really, these things aren’t all that flavorful. They don’t actually list the flavors on the box, just show pictures of different fruits in hopes that you’re brain will just make a color to flavor association. I think the actual flavors are lime scented urinal cake, DayQuil, “red”, and Lysol. Sometimes you get that hint of lime or orange, but then again that’s probably the flavor association talking. But does that mean we hate Mike & Ike? Of course not! If you don’t act like a nitpicky ass-hat and can simply understand that this a cheap-ass sugar candy… Mike & Ike can be good times. There are other Mike & Ike flavors such as Tropical Typhoon, Lemonade Blends, Berry Blast, and Tangy Twister. It’s been a minute since I’ve had the other flavors, so I’ll need to do some follow up reviews. But if you need a quick sugar fix, hit up your local dollar store and grab some Mike & Ike.

One Response to “Mike & Ike”

  1. Don Curley

    Dude … I don’t know who you are but I’ve just spent the last hour or so reading your reviews and I have been laughing my ass off so hard that I may have to go to the hospital. Of course if I ate even a fraction of what you have been reviewing, I would likely end up in the same place. Absolutely too much! Anyway, I sent your site link to my wife, so she could also experience your erudite and epicurean culinary evaluations (at least that’s how I prefaced the link).

    Reply

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