Twinkies are the cat’s pajamas. These are one of those foods where you know they’re just air… but you spend your money on them anyway because your tongue likes to tango with them. So I was sitting here at my workstation, and suddenly I get a Skype from a co-worker downstairs that said “chocolate filled Twinkies down stairs”. I stopped what I was doing, jumped over my desk, kicking both of my monitors out of the way, and barrel-rolled down the stairs to where the Twinkies were. I snatched one of these up, jumped out the window, and zip lined back up to the second story of my office to enjoy what I thought would be a magnificent Twinkie experience. I mean c’mon… Twinkies plus chocolate. Can’t go wrong? Right?
Well folks, I was severely disappointed. Have you ever had cheap spongy chocolate cake? That’s what these things taste like. Like you went to Aldi, bought some chocoalte cake mix, said fuck you to the instructions and opted for water instead of milk, baked it, and ate it. It felt like a Twinkie in my mouth, but it just tasted like shitty cake. I’m disappointed in you, Hostess… I cracked one of my monitors for nothing. Jerks.