During the day, I work your average office job. It’s far from my life’s dream where I work, but it pays the bills and we get lots of perks. One of the better perks is that we have a fridge stocked full of soda to keep us carbonated beverage fiends at bay. But since one of our biggest clients is a certain specific soda company, we’re only allowed to have their particular beverages in the building. Pretty lame, I know… but what are you gonna do (companies do have their right to negotiate their own terms and all)? With that said, I get pretty bored with the same old sodas every day. But lucky for me I work downtown and have access to many other places to get my sweet and salty snack fixes. Conveniently located behind our building is a food co-op that has all sorts of weird shit that I have never heard of… making a great place for obtaining food-review material. After scrounging for change in my truck and a small donation from Jpendley… I went over to the hippie hut and decided to try something new.
One thing I get a serious laugh at it when drink companies try to do their own variation of Dr. Pepper. They always call it Dr. [insert name] to let you know that “Hey, this is not quite Dr. Pepper. But motherfuck we tried.” By far the funniest one is WalMart’s Dr. Thunder… and I’m yet to see a better Dr. drink name. But today I noticed a beverage from Blue Sky called Dr. Becker. Becker? Who the fuck is Becker? Is it in homage to that shitty Ted Danson show where he’s a piss-ant doctor? After staring at this soda can for 2 minutes wondering what the fuck this Becker guy was all about and why he’s making Dr. Pepper rip-offs, I had to try it.
This is probably the worst excuse for a Dr. Pepper drink that I’ve ever had. Not saying it’s bad… but if you put “Dr” in front of your soda’s name you better goddamn deliver something because that’s a bold statement. This kind of (heavy emphasis on kind of) has the DP taste to it… but to me it’s more like a cherry soda/cream soda hybrid. This drink also has no artificial flavors, no artificial colors, no preservatives, no caffiene, no sodium, GMO free, and no HFCS… and you can certainly taste the blasphemy. It’s kind of watery, and I think it gave me a headache after polishing off the can. Really, if they would have called this “Blue Sky Sparkling Cream Cherry Hippie Soda”, it would be one thing. Then again I’d never buy something with “hippie” in the title. If you think of it as a “sparkling cream cherry soda”, it’s not bad. But the Bacon-Egg Cthulhu cries and punches turtle doves at the poor attempt to pass this off as a Dr. drink. Hell… WalMart’s Dr. Thunder at least tastes somewhat like Dr. Pepper. It’s not the tastiest thing (I don’t think I’ll be buying this again), but it’s not terrible either. I still want to know who this Becker fucker is.