Posts By: PlanetOfTheCrepes

doritos-roulette

Doritos – Roulette

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You know something’s gotta be good if you have to post after abandoning your site for over 8 months. Folks, we come back from the depths to present the Dorito’s Roulette chips. They’re nacho cheese Doritos with the odd hot chip in there. On the packaging we’re just casually warned that “Some chips are very [...]

ghostpepper

The Ghost Pepper

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I question why I’m even bothering with this shit. What has it been… like 8 months since we did an actual post? Eerily enough my timing to make a surprise post is good. Why? Because coincidentally I haven’t even thought about this site in eons since last night, but at the same time (after checking [...]

dead-0920_616

Welp, we think it’s obvious.

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We haven’t posted shit in a long time, and it’s quite obvious that we’re tapped out in the foul-mouthed junk food review department. There are only so many times one can swear about the sweet and salty snacks of the Universe without it sounding like the same shit over and over (see exhibit A: snortramen.com). [...]

herrs_horseradish

Herr’s Horseradish and Cheddar Potato Chips

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Sup Ramenites! Long time no see! Things have been rather hectic at the Snort Ramen camp. HamDog has been busy trying to console the entire city of Houston over Matt Shaub, and I’ve been balls deep in the NHL. But we have a review for you today… BEHOLD! I’m here today to talk to you [...]

Snort Ramen

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Word up, Ramenites! Long time no see. HamDog and I have been talking a lot about the site, and we want to share with you guys about what’s been going down. We’re here to announce that Snort Ramen is going to go into the dark for a little while so we can iron out new [...]

carrito de elotes

Vero/Carrito De Elotes

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The fair is in town in my neck of the woods. That means I get to cut loose on all sorts of new and strange fair food that could easily kill me if consumed in large quantities. One of the things we got was a couple of candy grab bags for the kids. Inside one [...]

Pour a Colt45 in your Dorito bag for the ultimate experience.

Doritos Locos Tacos

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You wake up, you scroll through all the gibberish text messages you sent your ex-girlfriend the night before, you face palm for a second… then it hits you. You have to drop a gnarly deuce so bad you now have Gumby legs. You basically slide your Jell-o like body across the floor, walk through walls, [...]

pringles_blazin_buffalo_wing

Pringles Xtreme Buffalo Blazin’ Wing Chips

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Pringles… you gone done fucked up this time. You pulled that shit where you just stared at me when I walked into the gas station… trying to lure me with your lies. You sit there all like “I’m a can of robust spicy wing sauce chips. I’m Xtreme, and I want to party on your [...]

DEFINITELY not the peyote.

Jack Link’s Jalapeno Beef Jerky

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It’s hotter than fuck out here in the Chihuahuan Desert. I’m on the search for the rare Demonio Del Calor Jalapeño Bovine. I don’t know why the fuck I’m even hunting this thing… there’s no way a desert cow could taste remotely good. What could it possibly it eat? Sand, cacti, and scorpions? Goddammit this better [...]

"I'll be ready..."

Mountain Dew Voltage – Raspberry Citrus

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I just picked up this electric blue can of Mountain Dew Voltage and this drink is fucking intimidating.  Just looking at the can made all my teeth grow arms and every single one of them gave me the middle finger simultaneously.  I knew I was getting ready to make a huge mistake.  The label says [...]

drive thru jalapeno cheeseburger

Pierre Drive Thru Jalapeno Cheeseburger

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My biggest hurdle with packing my lunch for work in the morning is pure and simple half-awake laziness. If I have to prepare food, I grumble at every second of the process. I’m a fan of the grab-n-go style foods for lunch… and is probably why every lunch I’ve made in (at least) the last [...]

elvis

Jim Ether: Elvis & The PBB&B Sandwich

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Having lived in Memphis, TN for most of my life… we were constantly reminded about all things Elvis. This includes him riding the hell out of the Zippin Pippin at Liberty Land, theories on if he’s still stomping around Midtown, and the infamous peanut butter banana and bacon sandwiches he loved so much. Elvis LOVED [...]

tacobellbeefycrunch

Taco Bell Beefy Crunch Burrito w/ Flamin’ Hot Fritos

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Shang Tsung watches from his throne as the crowd screams for blood. I, PlanetOfTheCrepes, stand on my side of the screen… feeling the hellish burn of Scorpion’s eyes from across the way. This fucker is about to kill me dead… I know it. I hear some random voice yell “FIGHT!” Who the fuck just said [...]

RufflesHoneyMustard

Ruffles Ultimate Tangy Honey Mustard Chips

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Stardate 72856.2. We have returned the Starship Chilifries to the Rufflonian exoplanet of the Orion-Cygnus Arm in star system M52. We were hesitant to return after our last failed mission to find awesome snacks, but The United Rufflonian Federation insisted that we come back. According to the Federation, Baconcheddarloadia was a rogue city where the losers win, [...]

private selection buffalo chips

Private Selection Spicy Wings Kettle Chips

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Let’s start with a rant: Chip makers… we need to have a talk. We vote to stop calling chips with Buffalo sauce flavoring anything with the word “wing” in it. If these were supposed to taste like wings, then I would taste some goddamn chicken. I have never tasted chicken in any type of “Buffalo [...]

utf

Snort Ramen To Appear Weekly on UnleashTheFanBoy.com

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Snort Ramen has been asked to write a weekly guest column over at UnleashTheFanBoy.com! Our articles should appear every Friday… that is, unless HamDog gets too busy hunting for new Four Loko flavors, or if I get too wrapped up debating on what color to paint my garage floor. If you’re a comic book nerd, [...]

onionrings

Nong Shim Spicy Onion Rings

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Last weekend the fam made a trek to one of the Asian grocery stores in town. Whenever we go, it is LAW that we get some oddball snack that we’ve never had. So many things from octopus crackers to Sriracha peas… but this time around I opted for a bag of Hot & Spicy Onion [...]

Skraeckoedlan

INTERVIEW: Eat Skipper’s Pipes and Listen To Skraeckoedlan

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Behold, Snort Ramen’s first interview! We’ve decided to tap into the minds of Swedish stoner/doom juggernauts, Skraeckoedlan, and find what particular foods drive them to be awesome. Don’t worry, we can barely pronounce their name either… but these guys are absolutely fucking sick at writing good tunes. Half of their songs are in English, and [...]

spacepizza

NEWS: NASA to Develop 3D Printer… FOR FOOD

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Sonuvabitch! This is full of awesome! NASA is funding research for the development of a 3D food printer! The first food will be pizza. SPACE PIZZA! Goddammit, read that again: SPACE PIZZA! It’s days like this where my faith in humanity is restored. So some of you are probably thinking what I thought at first… [...]

igrill1

iGrill

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For all of you Mac sheep out there that have thousands of dollars of unused computer parts waiting to be put to use, this might be up your alley. Behold the iGrill! Source

circus peanuts

Fuck Circus Peanuts

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Folks, if you’ve ever face planted into a box of slightly moist styrofoam that sat in a banana distribution center for half a decade and inhaled said styrofoam… then you know what a circus peanut tastes like. Even by our standards, this candy is an abomination to the junk food world. It’s nothing like a [...]

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Jim Ether: Sleepy Burger

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We love these Jim Ether food related paintings. I mean, fucking look at it… LOOK AT IT. Wouldn’t YOU want to be that guy??? Curled up all comfy-cozy in a nice warm hamburger with all the fixins? Damn right you do. It’s the stuff dreams are made of. As always, go check out Jimmy’s site [...]

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Taco Bell Waffle Tacos

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Yes, Ramen-Readers… you read correctly. Motherfuckin’ Taco Bell Waffle Tacos. The Bell is dipping its clapper (yes, that’s the actual name for the dangly part of a bell) into the breakfast world. It’s sausage and eggs loaded up into a waffle all taco style. While it’s not really a taco based on what the Googlebots tells [...]