Arizona Half Pink Lemonade Half Sweet Iced Tea

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Arizona teas are aces. You can get a super-tall boy of these things for only $.99… unless your local ethnic health food store decides to be a bunch of ass-hats and charge $1.19, despite the fact that $.99 is printed on the fucking can! And yes, that happens where I live. Anyhoo, I was out and about with the lady and minion (that’s wife and kid for you super white folks) and it was getting to that point in the day where is was plain ol’ shitty-booty hot. We decided to go into one of the gas stations downtown and get some cold beverages to keep everyone at bay. Much to my dismay, they yanked out all the Icee machines, thus delaying my chance of trying a frozen Dr. Pepper. But after rage punching everyone in the gas station into comas (sans the lady and minion), I perused the cooler, and I came to the Arizona tall-boy section and saw the Arnold Palmer Half Pink Lemonade Half Sweet Iced drink. I thought to myself, “Self… I don’t think you’ve tried that. You should get it instead of paying damn near $2 for a 22oz Dr. Pepper”. Well, I’m glad I did. Even though I knocked out the clerk, I’ve always thought of myself as an honest person and left my $1.07 on the counter for when he woke up.

I’ve had lemon iced tea before… but this was different. It had a perfect sweetness to it, and I don’t think I’ve ever noticed such a “perfect balance” of flavors. The whole time I drank it, I was trying to decide which it tasted more like: pink lemonade or sweet tea. My mind was blown, because I couldn’t figure it out! Arizona has divided by zero, folks. And it’s a badass refreshing summer drink. For only $.99, you can’t afford to not get it. This Arnold Palmer dude was ahead of his time… and since I’ve had this we’ve been making this concoction at home. Good times.

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