Monthly Archives: July 2013

carrito de elotes

Vero/Carrito De Elotes

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The fair is in town in my neck of the woods. That means I get to cut loose on all sorts of new and strange fair food that could easily kill me if consumed in large quantities. One of the things we got was a couple of candy grab bags for the kids. Inside one [...]

Pour a Colt45 in your Dorito bag for the ultimate experience.

Doritos Locos Tacos

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You wake up, you scroll through all the gibberish text messages you sent your ex-girlfriend the night before, you face palm for a second… then it hits you. You have to drop a gnarly deuce so bad you now have Gumby legs. You basically slide your Jell-o like body across the floor, walk through walls, [...]

pringles_blazin_buffalo_wing

Pringles Xtreme Buffalo Blazin’ Wing Chips

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Pringles… you gone done fucked up this time. You pulled that shit where you just stared at me when I walked into the gas station… trying to lure me with your lies. You sit there all like “I’m a can of robust spicy wing sauce chips. I’m Xtreme, and I want to party on your [...]

DEFINITELY not the peyote.

Jack Link’s Jalapeno Beef Jerky

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It’s hotter than fuck out here in the Chihuahuan Desert. I’m on the search for the rare Demonio Del Calor Jalapeño Bovine. I don’t know why the fuck I’m even hunting this thing… there’s no way a desert cow could taste remotely good. What could it possibly it eat? Sand, cacti, and scorpions? Goddammit this better [...]

"I'll be ready..."

Mountain Dew Voltage – Raspberry Citrus

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I just picked up this electric blue can of Mountain Dew Voltage and this drink is fucking intimidating.  Just looking at the can made all my teeth grow arms and every single one of them gave me the middle finger simultaneously.  I knew I was getting ready to make a huge mistake.  The label says [...]

drive thru jalapeno cheeseburger

Pierre Drive Thru Jalapeno Cheeseburger

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My biggest hurdle with packing my lunch for work in the morning is pure and simple half-awake laziness. If I have to prepare food, I grumble at every second of the process. I’m a fan of the grab-n-go style foods for lunch… and is probably why every lunch I’ve made in (at least) the last [...]