Monthly Archives: July 2012


Rally’s Big Buford & Fries

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Rally’s is one of the greatest things in the entire world. For those that have never heard of Rally’s, you might be familiar with it’s evil twin Checkers. For those who have heard of neither, Google the closest location right now, get in your goddamn car, and go find one Harold & Kumar style. Rally’s/Checkers [...]


Samuel Adams Bonfire Rauchbier

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Ok, I know our thing here is junk food reviews, but I need to throw in a beer review. My reason for this is because I sometimes feel the need to warn and protect my fellow humans from making dumbass decisions… such as buying any quantity of Samuel Adams Bonfire Rauchbier. Plus, it’s been a [...]


HamDog Vs PlanetoftheCrepes: Closing the Book on White Chocolate

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A chat session between the two Snort Ramen Olympiads. HamDog: 1, PlanetoftheCrepes: 0 [7/20/2012 9:39:35 AM] HamDog: so i ended up watching first blood 1 and 2 this weekend, and stallone’s son dies the next morning [7/20/2012 9:39:42 AM] HamDog: wtf [7/20/2012 9:40:30 AM] PlanetoftheCrepes: way to go man [7/20/2012 9:40:43 AM] HamDog: therefore, i [...]

mr goodbar

Mr Goodbar

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That’s right. Mr. Goodbar. I’ll be honest, the name and the packaging for this candy bar have never captivated me. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve even had a Mr. Goodbar… and when I’d see these things at the convenient store I’d scoff at them. “Pffft!” I’d say to the Mr. Goodbars while [...]

dark berr

Comics Crux Review: Mountain Dew Dark Berry

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Snort Ramen has partnered up with the up and coming website Comics Crux to do comic book themed food reviews which will be featured on their site. Comics Crux will be a website devoted to providing a hub of news, original content, and social networking for comic book fans and creators… launching on Sept 5th 2012 [...]


Snort Ramen Salutes Lemmy Kilmister

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We here at Snort Ramen love our metal. It’s energy-driven music that makes you want to wear a sleeveless denim jacket with an oversized Appetite For Destruction patch on the back. Metal makes you bang your head and puts you into an “I have absolutely no fucks to give.” mindset. It’s all about loud amps [...]

mike and ike

Mike & Ike

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Mike & Ike is a special type of candy. You can get it in large boxes or by the handful from germ ridden vending machines for dirt cheap. It’s the kind of stuff that gives you a quick Dollar Tree-style sugar fix and makes your molars and the spaces between your teeth feel like absolute [...]

green and blacks white chocolate

Green & Black’s White Chocolate

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Look at me, I’m eating all fancy-pants today. I was awarded a white chocolate candy bar from the co-op for tearin’ shit up old-school at my office. It looks like this thing was purchased from Bath & Body Works. But don’t let the wrapper fool you, this candy bar packs a punch. I love white [...]


Root Beer

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Root beer is the jam. Back in the way-back-when, root beer was made as a home-made alternative to alcoholic beverages. Forest folk would gather various roots, sticks, pine cones, and spices and pitch them in some boiling water and drink the fuck out it. The process of making root beer is in the same line [...]


Milky Way Simply Caramel

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Whooooooooooboy! This sonuvabitch is riiiiiiiiiiich! This candy bar was brought to our attention by our junkfood partner-in-crime Tanya over at Gas Station Gastronomy, and her review can be read here. Based on the picture posted, it appeared to just be a big block of caramel that is coated in chocolate. I love caramel, I love [...]

easy cheese

Easy Cheese

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Motherfucking cheese in a motherfucking can. It’s straight up magic. Bend a little nozzle slightly and receive cheese. No cellophane wrappers to undo, no blocks to cut up. This cheese is easy. Be forewarned, the Easy Cheese can suck you in to its event horizon and you won’t go back. At first you squirt a [...]


The Fine Art of Burrito Handling

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Burritos are serious fucking business. If you don’t know how to handle one… you face serious consequences such as blowout, shitty bean-smelling fingers, and severe embarrassment if you are in a public establishment. We’re here to help the world become grandmaster Red belts in the Burrito Handling Arts. Follow these instructions and you will be one with [...]


Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs

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One of the nice things about working an office job is that people will put out food and treats that they can’t/don’t want to eat for other people to take. The motherload usually comes right after Halloween or Easter… and you can’t take 2 steps without someone throwing candy at you. I’m guessing that my [...]


Taco Bell Beefy 5 Layer Burrito

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You wake up early in the morning and you’re packing your lunch. It’s been a minute since you went to the grocery store, so you find yourself packing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, the ass-end of an old bag of chips, that goddamned apple that you know you’re never going to eat, and a [...]